Sans Brains

Last night I had tickets to a baseball game. So three of my friends and I all went to the game, got semi-drunk and watched the Twins win in 10 boring innings.

After the game we (mostly I) decided it was a good idea to drink MORE at the bar. We get into the bar (after paying $3) and start to drink, and drink, and drink. After 2 or 3 beers I notice a waitress with some HUGE guns. By the time she came over and offered my friend and I jello shots I was completly in the bag. So after chatting her up I ask the question that is on every guy in my position’s mind.

“Are your boobs real?”

With out missing a beat she says they are and I attempt unsuccessfully to get her to show them to me.

So after not seeing any boobs I decided to drink MORE beer. After a few more beers the table next to use bought my buddy and I a Jagermeister and Red Bull shot. As soon as the Jager was in my stomach it wanted out and there was no way I was holding it down. So I went to the bathroom and yacked up that shot plus tons of beer.

I go back out to our table and I tell my friend that I puked and he laughed. Just then a bouncer taps me on the shoulder and tells me that I have to leave. I ask why and he tells me they have a rule….”If you puke, you have to leave.” I understood and told them that was cool. I got my friends and we went next door to a different bar and started drinking some more.

It was a great time and I got to enjoy a drunken walk home to my friend’s appartment and then passed out on the floor.

On another note…I am in a few different fantasy football leagues and need an OFFENSIVE name. Something that people won’t want to say because it’s so bad. The name of my team right now is The Shockers and will probably stay that way unless you guys have something better.